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Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category

It was starting to sprinkle as Lucy and I left the house for our usual after work walk and the air was crisp as I drew it into my nostrils. The cherry blossoms in full bloom I was reminded of the phrase “tree of life.” I have learned to imagine myself as a tree, firmly rooted in the ground, balanced no matter what comes my way. Swaying my arms as I dance, the same as the boughs and limbs of a tree move in the wind.

I also began to think of a new way of picturing this tree. That this tree of life represented every living thing I’ve known, and that when one person leaves or dies, a leaf falls from the tree.

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“I have to be thankful that this crowded space is the place of my birth.
All I’ve ever wanted is to be someone.” – George Michael

I’ve spent a lot of time soul searching since some big things have happened in my life.

My good friend Ian passed away in March (which reminds me, I’m calling his mom right now), and to honour him, I went to a retreat centre last weekend (Rivendell) that I had attended with him and other “crew” in November of 2008. I can’t believe it had been so long since I’d done something like this. I was feeling so wiped and stressed, and sick from this stupid sinus infection. It was a blessing in disguise, because it brought me to a creative place, to honour life, and to get back to my roots – nature. It’s also allowed me to be stronger in my forthcomings. To listen to what I need, and proceed that way.

Here are some photos from the trip:

Also, I uploaded a video on Youtube re: OPA –

I found “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, that I got from Eagle (Ian and Lynne’s friend). I feel the need to put them down here:

1) Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2) Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3) Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4) Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Well, isn’t that interesting. I have been conscious of those without having even read these yet. These are things I’ve been struggling with as late. And then I hear this song, and I think that’s exactly where I’ve been:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-RjMRP5IbI

Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I will cross

Just because I’m hurting
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt
Doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I’ve tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off…

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
‘Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you’ll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the firing starts
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I’m just waiting till the shine wears off…

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