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Archive for the ‘Harmonization’ Category

But I’m not. While being sick wasn’t how I imagined I’d ring in the New Year, it has given me an interesting lesson. I had been fighting this bug off for several days before Christmas and given all the festivities planned, wasn’t entertaining the idea that I would get sick. I did my daily Morter March, Qigong set and PEMF treatments (more on that in another post). After all the things planned had gone off without a hitch, strangely my mind started to believe getting sick was possible. 

 The daily sore throat wasn’t going away, the body aches became more severe and on the Eve of New Year’s Eve, it hit me. Boy was I ever resentful of who I could’ve possibly gotten sick from.

The thought process of feeling resentful only hindered my ability to fight it off and after midnight hit January 1, I was curled up in bed under at least seven layers of cuddly goodness. My partner lay next to me, sipping his New Years libation, the screen of his smart phone too much for even my closed eyes to bare. Yep, I was an irritated, drippy mess.
 

That day I had pushed myself and changed plans last minute to spend some time with my dad in the US. We don’t see each other too often, namely based on childhood and adulthood tensions, but I had some paperwork he needed ASAP. Thankfully Stefan drove down and we spent several hours setting up and then playing on his Nintendo WII. I had fun, but deep down I recognized I’d done it again – not listened to myself while my body was screaming at me.

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Stefan had fun rocking the guitar on WII Rock Band. 

More often than not, I give away my personal power to help or make other people feel better. Some of the time I feel good about it, but others, there’s a strong resentment which makes me realize I need to bring the power back to myself.

Feeling unhappy about a decision I had made wasn’t going to do me any good moving forward, so I decided to change my thinking. (I truly thank Joseph Ghabi and Stefan Sczyrba for their help and persistence on this topic). Instead of being upset for being sick, I began to see I had choice of the possible positive side of the situation.

“What in heavens would be the positive side of being sick?” you ask. 

Well, think of it this way. The body is purging that which no longer supports it to it’s highest frequency. That which doesn’t allow it to provide the greatest good for itself and all it serves.

Changes things a bit doesn’t it?

In essence, all the energy work I’ve been doing this last year and a half, effects all forms of what makes us human: the Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual bodies (or PEMS for short).

Making a change in one, effects them all.

I found a really interesting article by a Shaman that explains this in more detail: The Energy Purge: Feeling Sick After Energetic or Spiritual Work?

Upon undergoing an energetic change in your energetic body, in this case, we are referring the healing in which low energy is removed and replaced with high energy, there is a change in the other two bodies – and often, there is a lag time between the changes.

This is the energy purge. You are purging old, low energy and replacing it with new, healed, high energy.

it happens first, in an energy healing, at the level of energy.and then, it has to reverberate through the other two bodies – the physical and the spiritual.

An energy purge occurs on ALL levels when you undergo an energy healing, because all are connected and all levels are comprised of energy. There is often a lag with this, because it takes time for your physical and spiritual bodies to adjust to and begin to shift their old states of being to the the new tale that the energy is telling.

Your physical body and your spiritual body have to shift out old, low states, too. Because these are the states that once matched your old energetic state.

So tonight, a few days later and still purging, I’m gentle with myself, asking for help when I need it and not pushing. So off to bed I go, with so many more ideas of what to write bouncing through my head…I could write for days on these topics. 

I would love to hear about your experiences with this and any thoughts you may have about the topic. Let’s engage!

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And all through my heart, 

The love has been growing exponentially.

Romantic films and random acts of kindness,

They all have a part,

During this time of year…and always.

It’s a time to hold your loved ones closer,

To appreciate every bit of everything,

And be reminded to be this way every day.

So Happy Holidays to you and yours,

Wishing that your heart sings,

And is full of love, faith and laughter now and the rest of your days.

Sending love and light to you now and always.



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Or rather, have been doing my best to think. What I haven’t recognised is how my insomnia, sleeplessness and therefore sleeping pill consumption, may be affecting my ability to see and think clearly. After doing a bit of research, all the energy I’ve been spending on ensuring I’m de-calcifying my pineal gland in order to better access my intuition and align with my higher self, may be for naught. I haven’t felt more closed off and just last night, began to think the medication, though I may get several hours of uninterrupted sleep, may be worse than not sleeping. I mean, even with it, I haven’t had a full nights sleep in several years. I question whether there’s another reason why I’m not sleeping other than the sleep disorder I’m claimed to have.

Today, I picked up a book I’ve had a challenge sticking to: “I Am the Word,” by Paul Selig. My friend Elaine has been adamant about me reading it, even giving me the audiobook to listen to. I’ve never really given audiobooks a fair try. I feel like I’m not doing enough if I’m sitting around and listening. Like I’m missing a better way to learn by reading the words, hearing it in my head and taking notes. I’m also a sucker for physical books; hardcover preferred, so I have more room to make notes.

Free excerpt from the book here.

Anyhow, I digress.

In the prologue, the channeled spirits mention that it’s my choice on whether I receive their healing. “Am I willing now to be on a path of radical change that will leave me naked and resplendent in my frequency without the tethers to a past self that are no longer serving me?” Of course I said yes! I’m open to the life I’ve always desired and recognise I’m closer to it than I’ve ever been.

The first exercise was to open my seventh chakra on the top of my head and receive energy. To have the energy go through my body and align each centre, chakra, and energy vortex to the highest frequency in preparation for the journey to come. I have no problem connecting to that. In fact, I think I’m not grounded enough as often feel woozy. The second exercise was much more challenging. To work on me individually, which I believe I resist from anyone, they asked me to receive light through my third eye.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I did an exercise I learned from Carol Tuttle, and massaged the middle of my forehead, imagining I was removing eye crusties from my third eye, flicking it open with my fingers.

Still nothing. So, I started researching. One study suggests there’s no effect on sleep with use of pharmaceuticals versus drug free insomniacs. Another study states that CBT is more effective (which I’ve been doing for many years and doesn’t seem to change anything). I couldn’t find any studies on the effects of things on people with higher vibrational frequencies, but In5D has a fantastic article about supplements, medications, sensitivities and spiritual progress? I am an intuitive, empath and highly sensitive person and proud of it. Unfortunately, the traditional ‘systems,’ integrated or not, don’t seem to take this all into account, so mainly, I’m focused on listening to me, even if it is a little clouded right now.

Since the beginning of September, I’ve chosen a lot of changes. I got rid of half of my belongings, moved out of the city I’ve lived in for 30 years, and with assistance, got off of most pharmaceuticals for the depression, PTSD and anxiety I’d been supposedly ‘diagnosed’ with (note the sarcasm here; I’m not labelling myself with something so confining and negative). I’ve taken away most things I would’ve used in the past to numb or distract myself – TV, music, alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, overeating, overworking, overspending,  oversleeping and more! I’ve added the Morter March by Morter Health Systems (my partner is an upcoming practitioner – message me for details) and Qigong to my daily practice of meditation and reflection, which have definitely helped to begin reprogramming and reframing my thoughts and how I talk, as well as greatly reduce any residual panic, depression and anxiety.

Still, I am searching for a balance and will continue to do so. The In5D article has hit me more than I thought it would and I believe a good nights rest (still with medication for the time being), will be my option until something more solid comes my way. I could write so much more on this topic and will break it down further at another time.

Have any of you experienced insomnia, sleep disorders or the like and are at a heightened state of awareness? Have you found anything that works well for you?

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So, it’s done. Final edits are with the publisher. Bio and pic sent. Reader’s list completed. I’m not sure how I feel.

My story will now be immortalized yet again, in a public format (see http://www.wrongwaytohope.com for my first) along with 20 co-authors. There’s something big about sharing my life with the world; with all of you. Something so final about letting go of the old. It’s very exciting! The timing couldn’t be better either – 15 days into 2016 is the book launch (I’d love for you to join me – message me for a discount).

HEARTMIND_WISDOM_3_Book_Launch_Mercy_Ships_Fundraiser_M_grande.png  Please share this far and wide, and better yet, purchase a copy before I even have one in my hands. Visit this link for a few options to purchase. You can even get all three collections for an amazing deal! 

There’s also something pretty exciting that you won’t get to see until you get a copy of the book!

Spontaneity is the exquisite expression of the unexpected. 

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I ask myself almost every day why it’s been so long since I’ve written here. My answer seems complicated to me, wrapped around fear to express, not knowing where to start or how much to share – honestly they are all excuses. I think it truly comes down to the fear of judgement. I don’t feel comfortable being me, in fact, I’ve been on a journey back to me, re-discovering who I actually am.

My whole life I’ve needed acceptance, appreciation and approval from others outside of myself, not listening to my cries for help as a cry to myself

Where have you been?

That little girl version of myself that’s been trapped, screaming for the acknowledgement from me that she’s there. That she’s been through all these things in life with me. Her cries breaking through as physical pain in my body that hasn’t been transmuted from the psyche. The years of fatigue, stiffness, inflammation, constant pain, problems with memory, focus and concentration, digestive issues and insomnia, have all been ways for her to let me know that “we” aren’t fully healed yet. “We” are holding onto feelings and emotions from the past that are ending up manifesting as physical ailments such as depression, anxiety, cancer, autoimmune disorders and burnout.

I’ve asked myself “Why has it been so long since…”

– I’ve truly paid attention to my own needs?
– I’ve accepted myself and have a fantastic relationship with me?
– I’ve allowed myself to surrender?
– I’ve given myself the space to get to know who I really am outside of perceived societal requirements, or expectations from others?
– I’ve stuck up for myself and spoken my truth in an assertive and constructive manner?
– I’ve thought that I could deserve all the good, love and abundance that life has to offer?
– I’ve listened to my intuition versus fear and resistance?

These are all questions I will be addressing in the coming weeks. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey through life and want to know more about your purpose, I invite you to join me and answer those questions. Or, even better, create some of your own and post them in the comments. I will be creating a Facebook page so we can more easily communicate with each other. It will be Turn Your Life Around. I look forward to hearing from you.

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