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Patterns

This was written June 30, 2012, edited in 2014 and not published until now. Wow, what a few years it’s been. Since deciding to go by the full name I was born with, Jennifer Marie Luce just to have availability to my full potential, I’m noticing things.

First off, people love “Jennifer.” Who knew?

“It’s pretty,” I heard.

As I answer the phone with my introduction, people respond: “Wow, you sound so official.”

Can’t say I ever heard that with “Jen.” And now that I think about it, Jen sounds like phlegm. Ha ha. Eww. Jennifer doesn’t rhyme with anything (does it?). It just flows. And I need flow in my life.

Yaay me. Thanks again to Joseph Ghabi for opening my eyes.

So, onto the rest of the week. Saturday night I changed the name, and as I was going to bed, earplugs in (to sleep through the cat playing), I heard words being spoken, as if by people on the phone, however as I sat up and pulled out the earplugs, I still continued to hear them. They were a melange of people from around the world having conversations about their strife in the world. As I tuned in, I could hear men and women. I got frightened and then the sounds disappeared. I realized this was my clair-audience and fell back asleep. 

On another occasion in 2014, I was wearing red and black, then saw red, black, red, black, red, black cars in the City Hall parking lot as I returned back from the mall at lunch.

Walking into the office, I find a red and black ladybug on my dress. Coincidence?

At the time I wasn’t sure, but then began to see more patterns. To be honest, it had been years since I had been seeing them. Now, over tyears later, I understand why. It’s been my angels and guides trying to get in touch with me. There’s a lot of information out there about the ethereal. Guides. Ascended masters. Angels. Spirit animals. Starseeds. So much more. I often see patterns with the colours of cars. For example, as of late, I see three white cars. Or most recently four black or darker coloured cars. According to a book by Inna Segal called “The Secret Language of Your Body,”

White includes the entire  colour spectrum and heals the whole body. It is great for clearing toxicity from the body and purifying it. When treating with white, it is important to combine it with another colour beneficial to the part of the body needing to be healed.

White assists with clarity and understanding. it is the colour of choice, honesty, purity, protection, and reflection. it supports people reaching for their dreams, gives them courage to face challenges, and shows them the bigger picture.

Use white to create balance, replenish your spiritual strength and vision, and open up to infinite possibilities. White also has an ability o dissipate negative thoughts and feelings between people. It brings peace and comfort at the highest level.

White represents integrity, light, holiness, truth, and surrender. it softens, moisturizes, and revitalizes the skin and can be very helpful in healing skin problems. White is also cooling and refreshing, which is why people love to wear it in hot weather. White can both hide and reveal.

Overuse of white can lead to feeling depleted and washed out.

Interesting hey?

Numbers are other patterns. Have you ever noticed seeing 11:11 a lot or 3:33, $14.44? The list goes on. One day in a lineup at the border I was drawn to look at two other cars in parallel lanes. My licence plate was BKN 738. In front directly to my right was a vehicle of a different colour, with CLO 739, and then in the lane to the right of them and a few cars up, DMP 740. Coincidence? I think not. Do you see the pattern? Something was trying to get my attention. What, I’m not sure of. Up until late 2014, I’d never had a great understanding around angels. Spirits have visited me since I was young, but angels always seem far fetched. Funny, I think, because I believed in the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy when I was a kid, as well as Unicorns and Pegasus’s.

I often see the numbers 111, 11:11 or 33, and according to many mediums and specifically Dorreen Virtue, etc. 11 or 111 means respectively “Stay positive! Your thoughts are materializing rapidly, so you want to ensure positive outcomes by focusing only on the good within yourself, others, and this situation; and this number b rings you the urgent message that you are manifesting instantly, so keep your mindset focused upon your desires. Give any fearful thoughts to Heaven for transmutation.” 33 stands for “You have a strong and clear connection with one or more ascended masters (i.e. dieties or gods like Buddha, Ganesha, Quan Yin, and Shiva), who have answered your call and your prayers. Keep talking to them, as they’re helping you with your present situation.” 333 is “You are completely surrounded, protected, loved, and guided by the benevolent ascended masters.” Another great website I use for a breakdown of numbers is by Joanne Scribes www.sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.ca/p/index-numbers.html.

Buddha came into my life years ago through my best friend. I realize the topic of religion is one to be gentle with as I don’t judge the views of others; I was raised Christian/Catholic. I don’t consider myself religious, but spiritual. Over the last year, I’ve had meditations where I’ve had tea with an eight-armed, ornately adorned woman; seen my partner Stefan’s guides and had them communicate thorough medical; heard and seen things that didn’t exist; helped exorcise a spirit from a friend’s aura; seen evil spirits try to psychically attack; been drawn to things in nature that have shown sacred geometry or other patterns; seen faeries in the woods and had other-worldly, amazing experiences. 

I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you on a more continual basis here forward and would love for you to share yours as well.

I’ve created a new page on Facebook to share these experiences collectively and look forward to hearing more about you. I accept all!

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And all through my heart, 

The love has been growing exponentially.

Romantic films and random acts of kindness,

They all have a part,

During this time of year…and always.

It’s a time to hold your loved ones closer,

To appreciate every bit of everything,

And be reminded to be this way every day.

So Happy Holidays to you and yours,

Wishing that your heart sings,

And is full of love, faith and laughter now and the rest of your days.

Sending love and light to you now and always.



I’ve been thinking

Or rather, have been doing my best to think. What I haven’t recognised is how my insomnia, sleeplessness and therefore sleeping pill consumption, may be affecting my ability to see and think clearly. After doing a bit of research, all the energy I’ve been spending on ensuring I’m de-calcifying my pineal gland in order to better access my intuition and align with my higher self, may be for naught. I haven’t felt more closed off and just last night, began to think the medication, though I may get several hours of uninterrupted sleep, may be worse than not sleeping. I mean, even with it, I haven’t had a full nights sleep in several years. I question whether there’s another reason why I’m not sleeping other than the sleep disorder I’m claimed to have.

Today, I picked up a book I’ve had a challenge sticking to: “I Am the Word,” by Paul Selig. My friend Elaine has been adamant about me reading it, even giving me the audiobook to listen to. I’ve never really given audiobooks a fair try. I feel like I’m not doing enough if I’m sitting around and listening. Like I’m missing a better way to learn by reading the words, hearing it in my head and taking notes. I’m also a sucker for physical books; hardcover preferred, so I have more room to make notes.

Free excerpt from the book here.

Anyhow, I digress.

In the prologue, the channeled spirits mention that it’s my choice on whether I receive their healing. “Am I willing now to be on a path of radical change that will leave me naked and resplendent in my frequency without the tethers to a past self that are no longer serving me?” Of course I said yes! I’m open to the life I’ve always desired and recognise I’m closer to it than I’ve ever been.

The first exercise was to open my seventh chakra on the top of my head and receive energy. To have the energy go through my body and align each centre, chakra, and energy vortex to the highest frequency in preparation for the journey to come. I have no problem connecting to that. In fact, I think I’m not grounded enough as often feel woozy. The second exercise was much more challenging. To work on me individually, which I believe I resist from anyone, they asked me to receive light through my third eye.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I did an exercise I learned from Carol Tuttle, and massaged the middle of my forehead, imagining I was removing eye crusties from my third eye, flicking it open with my fingers.

Still nothing. So, I started researching. One study suggests there’s no effect on sleep with use of pharmaceuticals versus drug free insomniacs. Another study states that CBT is more effective (which I’ve been doing for many years and doesn’t seem to change anything). I couldn’t find any studies on the effects of things on people with higher vibrational frequencies, but In5D has a fantastic article about supplements, medications, sensitivities and spiritual progress? I am an intuitive, empath and highly sensitive person and proud of it. Unfortunately, the traditional ‘systems,’ integrated or not, don’t seem to take this all into account, so mainly, I’m focused on listening to me, even if it is a little clouded right now.

Since the beginning of September, I’ve chosen a lot of changes. I got rid of half of my belongings, moved out of the city I’ve lived in for 30 years, and with assistance, got off of most pharmaceuticals for the depression, PTSD and anxiety I’d been supposedly ‘diagnosed’ with (note the sarcasm here; I’m not labelling myself with something so confining and negative). I’ve taken away most things I would’ve used in the past to numb or distract myself – TV, music, alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, overeating, overworking, overspending,  oversleeping and more! I’ve added the Morter March by Morter Health Systems (my partner is an upcoming practitioner – message me for details) and Qigong to my daily practice of meditation and reflection, which have definitely helped to begin reprogramming and reframing my thoughts and how I talk, as well as greatly reduce any residual panic, depression and anxiety.

Still, I am searching for a balance and will continue to do so. The In5D article has hit me more than I thought it would and I believe a good nights rest (still with medication for the time being), will be my option until something more solid comes my way. I could write so much more on this topic and will break it down further at another time.

Have any of you experienced insomnia, sleep disorders or the like and are at a heightened state of awareness? Have you found anything that works well for you?

I’m On My Way

So, it’s done. Final edits are with the publisher. Bio and pic sent. Reader’s list completed. I’m not sure how I feel.

My story will now be immortalized yet again, in a public format (see http://www.wrongwaytohope.com for my first) along with 20 co-authors. There’s something big about sharing my life with the world; with all of you. Something so final about letting go of the old. It’s very exciting! The timing couldn’t be better either – 15 days into 2016 is the book launch (I’d love for you to join me – message me for a discount).

HEARTMIND_WISDOM_3_Book_Launch_Mercy_Ships_Fundraiser_M_grande.png  Please share this far and wide, and better yet, purchase a copy before I even have one in my hands. Visit this link for a few options to purchase. You can even get all three collections for an amazing deal! 

There’s also something pretty exciting that you won’t get to see until you get a copy of the book!

Spontaneity is the exquisite expression of the unexpected. 

I ask myself almost every day why it’s been so long since I’ve written here. My answer seems complicated to me, wrapped around fear to express, not knowing where to start or how much to share – honestly they are all excuses. I think it truly comes down to the fear of judgement. I don’t feel comfortable being me, in fact, I’ve been on a journey back to me, re-discovering who I actually am.

My whole life I’ve needed acceptance, appreciation and approval from others outside of myself, not listening to my cries for help as a cry to myself

Where have you been?

That little girl version of myself that’s been trapped, screaming for the acknowledgement from me that she’s there. That she’s been through all these things in life with me. Her cries breaking through as physical pain in my body that hasn’t been transmuted from the psyche. The years of fatigue, stiffness, inflammation, constant pain, problems with memory, focus and concentration, digestive issues and insomnia, have all been ways for her to let me know that “we” aren’t fully healed yet. “We” are holding onto feelings and emotions from the past that are ending up manifesting as physical ailments such as depression, anxiety, cancer, autoimmune disorders and burnout.

I’ve asked myself “Why has it been so long since…”

– I’ve truly paid attention to my own needs?
– I’ve accepted myself and have a fantastic relationship with me?
– I’ve allowed myself to surrender?
– I’ve given myself the space to get to know who I really am outside of perceived societal requirements, or expectations from others?
– I’ve stuck up for myself and spoken my truth in an assertive and constructive manner?
– I’ve thought that I could deserve all the good, love and abundance that life has to offer?
– I’ve listened to my intuition versus fear and resistance?

These are all questions I will be addressing in the coming weeks. If you’re feeling stuck on your journey through life and want to know more about your purpose, I invite you to join me and answer those questions. Or, even better, create some of your own and post them in the comments. I will be creating a Facebook page so we can more easily communicate with each other. It will be Turn Your Life Around. I look forward to hearing from you.

I had the most interesting discussion with my GP today…something I never thought I would hear from his mouth.

I was in for my yearly exam and he asked if I had anything to discuss. I mentioned, that post cancer, I have been off my antidepressants for a year now and that everything has been great! He agreed. He then followed with the fact that too many people were on them, and it has been the pharmaceutical companies and doctors that haven’t taken enough responsibility to ensure they were not only necessary, but also paired with the proper CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).

I found this very interesting. 16 years ago depression almost took my life. Well, to be clearer, it was my first bout with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It’s not something I talk a lot about, because not only is it behind me, but I took the proper approach to heal myself, and am thankful I learned the tools then, as they helped me massively years later.

We continued to talk about the fact that antidepressants had their place, but that there were many alternatives.

Something that worked really well for me was EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Honestly, I thought it was a load of crap when my psychologist first presented the idea to me. But holy cow does it ever work. The science behind it makes so much sense. One side of the brain holds onto a specific traumatic memory, and the other side doesn’t recognize or understand it. One side is overly emotional towards it, and the idea is to connect the two sides, reduce the over reaction on one side and basically bridge the gap.

Something else that I am still learning about, but also helps on the spot for anxiety and long term memories, is tapping. Using pressure points on the body to reduce painful memories and also reprocess.

I just felt like I had to share my truth around this, and to demystify some of the talk around depression and mental disorders. Obviously I didn’t cover everything here, but am happy for the space to share even a little bit.

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BSH and MBS

Maybe I have your attention? Or maybe you’ve left because you can’t be bothered to figure out what BSH and MBS stand for.

Well, the latter is easy:

  • Mind
  • Body
  • Spirit

It’s something I pride myself in because I feel that I finally have a good balance in all three. I’ve worked hard on each of them, and will continue to do so until the day I die. Finding my life purpose, really brought everything together – and has melded it so.

The former, is a little more complicated. I met a new friend in February at the Anjali Hill workshop – Living from Truth: Contact. During a recent chat, she made something very clear to me. The right partner for anyone must have all three of the following:

  • Balls
  • Spine
  • Heart

I think brains also needs to be included in this. We may see different factors within each of the three points, but without all three, a true partner cannot exist.

I’ve let her words permeate my being, and they truly resonate with me. It’s likely that all people have all three, but may not be aware of what’s involved for them to be truly present.

What do you think?

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